Well it has sunk in

It seems as though the great universe agrees with my decision to be done with all of this.  With no insurance I cant get my insulin.  Without insulin there is really no hope for me.  A type 2 diabetic that doesnt have insulin doesnt stand much of a chance.  I feel oddly sad... I called my therapist, and told him that I am not going to have any more insurance, so I couldnt see him.  I wrote to my Doctor and told him that I am not going to have any more insurance... and I told my sister.. she sounded extremely sad.  This is good in 1 way.. but I had decided to keep taking my insulin until I did get another infection.. which now is not possible.  That truely sucks ... I want to continue being a good little diabetic,... yet... am being told nope.  I looked into healthy NY and it was over 300 I cant afford that.. plus the copays.. money just doesnt go that far.. and I cant afford the lantus.. because it is wayyyyyyy to expensive... so..... back to no insulin.. no insurance... and life just kicking the crap out of me time and time again... this has gotten to be wayyy tooo much....

I have not been wondering about my decision.. or my health care proxy..but I did expect to live the summer,. doing what I was supposed to do.. and that is not going to happen.  I see an infection happening.. relatively soon.. so we will see how it goes.. but I think the timeline has just been kicked up a notch.