frustration

Connecting with long lost friends is something that I have made a point to be doing lately.  I have been battling infections left and right.. but nothing is occuring because of them.. this is frustraiting to me.  My joints are feeling awful.. and am back to not knowing what is going to occur...

My sister had to put her dog down, which was sad, but she needed it.. she was old and beyond help, and of course didnt understand why things were the way they were.  Of course I realized that even when you understand what is going on it often doesnt make things better. 

I found out a dear friend of years ago has cancer.  She was a dynamic woman who didnt let anything stop her, now cancer will. 

It is frustraiting to be in this "inbetween" stage of life.  I live every day, but am not sure why.  I think that frustratation is something that you learn to live with, but it doesnt make it any easier to deal with... I am rambling in my own head, and obviously on paper here. 

death, pain, illness seems to be the thing of the month in June...

My fathers anniversery was June 21.. I thought about him all day.. we buried him on June 25 my parents anniversary...

To think that I will see them again relatively soon is giving me peace.  I miss them terribly .. and I miss the love they had for all those around them.. amazing people... and amazing abilities to love is something I find lost on todays society.