I let him off the hook

I resigned from my doctor today. He is such a great man on so many levels.  He is an incredible person.  He is Christian.. and a God fearing soul who doesnt preach, but does live what he believes.  He is gentle and kind, and compassionate.  He has been there for me on so many levels. 

I asked him to put me on pain control, and hospice when it becomes necessary.. He said he had to think about it.  I know him well enough to know that he desperately wants to help people.  He doesnt believe in someone so young giving up.. I just cant continue to go on like this. 

So I let him off the hook. I resigned.  I cant make anyone suffer for my choices.  If someone cannot stand by me.. then I have to NOT be selfish.   I cannot ask them to do what they morally cannot do. 

He is a champion of his patients... and that is a wonderful thing.. My road has been long and hard... he has been with me through the brunt of it... and I pray he knows this is not out of anger.. but out of respect for him... and his beliefs.