About Me

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Utica, New York, United States
I am a woman who fought for peoples rights, and now my illness has taken over.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hear every persons story

I called an old professor of mine today.  Before all of this goes too far I wanted to sit down and chat with him.  There have been a lot of people that gave me the knowledge and strength to do what I did for homeless, and hungry people, but one of the most influential people that I ever learned from is Dan.  I became "friends" with Dan after I graduated.  He got married has a couple of beautiful children, and I learned so much from this man.  It was my first Jewish wedding and it was sooo incredibly beautiful.

 I have not talked with Dan in a long time, but all I learned from him has helped the thousands  of people in the agency I ran. 

Open your mind, you are not always right, and your beliefs are not that of the people you are necessarily working with.  Do not push your beliefs on others.  Live what you believe.. and if they choose to follow they will have the success.  Help the person but do not lead them.  If they make the decision to do something better for their life.. let them take ownership of it. 

It is not about you.. it is about them.  You are a facilitator in change.. a catalyst.. .Not the person making the change.  He opened my eyes so much I can barely remember what I thought prior to him. 

I have seen therapists, counselors, social workers, case managers bully people and demand, and force change.  It never lasts.  It is almost like they were afraid to educate the people they were working with.  The worker had to keep some knowledge for themselves so they could feel superior to those they were working with.  I can honestly say I was never that way. 

I wanted to educate every client I had in every way possible.  I wanted them to know some basic conflict resolution, as much as they were willing to learn.  I wanted them to know how to sell themselves on a job interview.  I wanted to help them realize that possibilities were endless.  I wanted people to know that how you talk to someone is exactly what you are going to get back from that person.  For example.. try arguing with someone who is saying nothing.  You cant.  It is impossible to have an argument if one of the people is silent.  You cannot win or lose the argument that way.  I wanted them to know how to deescalate any situation they are in. 

Another huge influence in my life was Terrill... One of the most important things she ever taught me was the first person in an argument to raise their voice naturally loses the argument.  When someone can push your buttons you essentially allow them to make you their puppet. 

This also worked well when I was selling radio... there are so many things we can learn from sales people... that apply to life.  In sales anger, frustration are opportunities.  Give the person time to vent, and listen to their story.. you all of of a sudden have a wealth of information into their lives, and attitudes, this gives you a look into what you can offer them to solve their problem.

In the food bank I ran, the biggest goal was to hear each and every persons story.  The greatest thing I learned from my mother was EVERY person has a story, and every persons story deserves to be told, and every persons story is important... and as a human being you are charged with listening to the stories of those around you, and doing what you can to make their life better.

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