I never know if these will resolve themselves on their own...... or this will be the one that gets me...... so the idea was to keep living until I cant........
I am begining to write letters to all the people that I love.. that I dont really talk to anymore.. You know the ones you lose touch with.........
I am putting them in my drafts.. and the day I go into the hospital I will send them... Mostly they are people I need to thank for all they have done for me throughout the years. Many of them are people I love and respect... and have huge character....... I am crying as I write them....... I am sad.. not because of what may be coming.. but that it is coming so soon. I really had every intention of living the summer...... and being able to do all the things I love to do........but that may or may not happen..... I am also begining to pack things up in my apartment.. so whoever comes to clean out my things will not have so much to do........
I am spending every waking moment in the sun since I love it so much...... it feels so good and helps to alleviate some of the pain........
I still dont know what I am going to do with Missy...... she is a great dog.. and I am hoping someone takes her....... she is my only regret........ I will miss her terribly and I know she will miss me..........something I really cant think about... My shepherds found a great new home.... and I am sure she will too.....
It rained today and my mood is showing it....... tomorrow will be sunny again.... that is a great thing :D
I wrote 5 letters tonight.. will try and write a few every night....... I met with the funeral Home last week...... Nancy Eannace.. is a wonderful woman. She spent a few hours with me..... and made me think.